Menu
Cart 0

Real Men Prefer Naked

Posted by General Login on

There's another woman in his life, and her name is Ellie Bianca 

This is a love affair that your wife or girlfriend won't get upset about. How can you get upset about an oil that makes his beard and lips softer and more kissable for you? We all know how a great beard can set you apart from those baby-faced boys still living in their mother's basements. But come on, let me be honest: you could definitely do a better job when it comes to grooming that fuzzy-facial-centre-piece that you call a beard.

I need you to understand that you can’t conquer the world without a proper beard. Don’t believe me? Australian researchers found that growing a proper beard will, indeed, improve your love life. And according to me, if you groom it properly, your love life will improve even more. But why would a self-made man like yourself listen to my advice, you ask? Well for starters, instead of inciting fear into lesser men, perhaps you could up your game in the age-old pursuit of attracting the opposite sex. You probably think you already have this area of your life under control.

But be honest with yourself, it could be better.

What you need is an actionable plan and the key to success is an elixir with a special ingredient: jojoba. Where can you find this elixir? This is where your love affair starts: I recommend Ellie Bianca's Naked Body Oil. But, it’s a “body oil” you say - don’t be fooled by the girly bottle or the name of the product. Real men don’t blame the container, they find a way to make it work. You put this on your beard and the doors to Nirvana will open before you.

I haven’t even told you the best part yet. By the end of this article, if I haven’t convinced you that this is the best thing since unicorns then the Ellie Bianca Naked products may just be too manly for you to handle. Follow along and you will be forever cured of those issues that have haunted the manliest of men for millennia. I am going to show you how to face the northern wind like a glacier bound Viking with a beard that looks like it was groomed by wood nymphs. Here are the facts:

* Fact #1: It doesn’t smell good. In fact, it has no discernible smell at all. Who wants to smell like rose petals when you are stalking dragons. Tough guys smell like blood sweat and tears, not like a princess.

* Fact #2: It’s all natural; just like thunder and lightning. No chemicals and its organic. This means no allergens or estrogenic compounds to shrink your man parts or give you man boobs.

* Fact #3: Jojoba. If you don’t trust me, do your own research! You can thank me later.

* Fact #4: It’s only $40 a bottle.

* Fact #5: You can use it for erotic massage.

So there you have it, the secret to a properly groomed beard is Ellie Bianca’s Naked Body Oil. Again, this product contains Jojoba Oil which is famous as a beard hair conditioner. So get Ellie Bianca’s Naked Body (Beard) Oil and increase your Tinder score. Here is a link: Ellie Bianca Body Oil.

But wait, it doesn’t end with your beard. Ellie Bianca’s Naked line includes a scentless lip balm. The secret is, it is actually more than a lip balm. You can apply this all-natural man-balm to practically any body part. The product doesn’t care if the sun shines on it or not. The chemical-free formulation is created with organic ingredients which means they won’t burn, blister or sting.

Crossfit blisters? Check. Runner’s chafe? Check. Looking good for a midnight rendezvous? Check, check and check!

Put this balm anywhere you are chafing or blistering. Slather those areas of raw skin. The balm is not only great for your lips but it also doubles as a salve for blistered hands and ankles. The oils in the scentless balm create a hydrophobic layer to shed moisture from your skin while simultaneously softening, healing and improving its appearance and feel. Taken together, the naked lip balm and the naked body oil protect your skin from the blowing snow, freezing rain and blistering heat. Keeping you desirable all year round. Again, you can thank me later.

Face the facts, no one wants to cuddle with a tree. You can still be solid as a bear, but softer lips, a groomed beard and smooth skin make even the most rugged men irresistible. It just makes sense.

This is just my advice - but if you've read this far you must like what I have to say, so keep reading. Be a little greedy. Keep one naked lip balm in your bathroom and one in your gym bag.


Share this post



← Older Post Newer Post →


Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published.